At Ola and Lore’s recent Parents’ Evening, John and I were full of joy – something we had never really felt before after these meetings.
For the first time EVER, I (in particular) went to Parents Evening wanting to know more than the academic achievements of our daughters or the quality of work we’d find in their school folders. I had been obsessed with this in the past. So, for the first time ever, I paid attention to what their teachers had to say without telling them off!
Also, for the first time ever, I did not feel like pulling my daughters by their ears and dragging them out of the school because I felt ashamed of how appalling I felt about the quality of the work they are producing in school. But, for the first time ever, John and I left our children’s school feeling happy.
So what has changed from the previous Parents’ Evenings? What has changed for me is that I am a better parent than I used to be. I now know that academic achievements can be developed but there are some other qualities I should be concentrating on if my daughters are to be great citizens of the world – which is what all parents want for their children.
Without asking their teachers if my children display such qualities in school, I am glad to say they do. This was the first information we received from their teachers. One of our daughter’s teachers said to John and me, academic excellence is good but it is not the only requirement needed for success – more important qualities like emotional intelligence are crucial as well.
And I get that. What is the point of chasing after intellectual intelligence for your child when he can’t even get on with his peers. When he is cruel to other children in the playground. Or he has no capacity to empathise with others?
Lately, I have been encouraging parents who worry about their children’s academic performance that every child has a gift and a purpose. And as long as we don’t try and interfere with our children’s path, they will find their way. Our job is to guide them. If a child is not destined to be a surgeon and you push him to become one, he’ll never be fulfilled in life because you have changed his path. What is the point of living an unfulfilled life?
What I am not saying is, for you not to help them if they are struggling in school. Or, for you to be undisturbed about their academic performance – when they can do better. What I am saying is, if your child is not Grammar school material, don’t force it. You can’t ask for a gallon from your child when he can only offer a pint.
For me, (and I am a pushy mum) I have come to realise that emotional intelligence is more important than academic performance. As my husband John says, empathy, kindness, compassion can’t be taught but how to add up numbers can.
What is more important to you, academic performance or emotional intelligence? You choose.
Yvonne xxxDid you enjoy this post? If so please support us: like, share and comment!