What is important to you?

This post leaves me feeling vulnerable but vulnerable is a good thing.

In my journal this morning, I asked myself a simple question. “Yvonne, what is important to you?” I am sharing my thoughts with you this morning, not for your sympathy, likes or your comments. I am sharing this as a way of reminding myself (and you if you are interested) of what is important in life.

It is almost a year now that my eldest sister was tragically (but accidentally killed by her friend). On the day she was buried, as we all stood by the hole that had been dug to put her overpriced white coffin in, I had an Aha moment. It occurred to me that no one who came to pay their respect spoke about how rich or poor she was. No one spoke about how beautiful or ugly she was. No one spoke about how thin or fat she was. No one spoke about her achievements. In short, no one spoke about all of the things we worry about on a daily basis. BTW. If you are worried about your weight or what your body looks like, remember this. your body is just a shell that is going to rot when you die!
All of the people who knew her only talked about how she made them feel. They talked about her selflessness, kindness and how she encouraged them. How she made them feel good about a dire situation. As I complete my journal today, I am asking myself, how do I make others feel about themselves because that is what they will remember about me. Not my clothes, not what I sell but how I made them feel.

Boogieing Down with Breast Cancer

Making the big decision to start KemiKids is (apart from marrying John, having my daughters Lore and Ola) the best thing I have ever done with my life. It has brought me tremendous joy, made me a better person and has brought so many people into my life like Annalesha Edgehill.

I came to know of Annalesha through Naomi, a very supportive member of The KemiKids’ Tribe. Naomi emailed me asking if I could include a personal note with the Mama Warrior tote bag that she was buying for her friend who has been diagnosed with cancer. That was how my friendship with Annalesha started.

I’d like you to meet Annalesha. Here she is and her story.

Please, if you can, make a donation towards her heartfelt campaign. The donation you make will help with additional expenses for the day to day family expenses, including trips to and from the hospital for tests, etc. etc.

You can follow Annalesha on Instagram. You can donate HERE

“I am just doing the right thing.”

Today, when I woke up, I wrote a long to-do list. I must let you know that only two items on my list have been accomplished; writing this blog post and taking my daughter Lore for her hospital appointment.

After Lore’s appointment, I took her back to her school and made my way home to tackle the rest of my to-do list. BTW I was walking. Five minutes away from my house, I noticed my camera drop out of my bag. It was only then that I realised that the contents of my bag had been making a trail behind me. I was not aware of this because I had been too busy chatting on my mobile phone with a Royal Mail salesman.

One of the items that had made its way out of my bag was my wallet – and this made me freak out. I did not freak out because of the wallet itself or its contents but because of the palaver of dealing with the different banks, DVLA, etc. But almost immediately after freaking out, I felt some strange sense of peace and this peace reassured me that my wallet and I will be reunited. So, I retraced my steps… but found nothing.

You may be wondering why I felt this sense of peace when I had just lost my wallet. I felt some peace because of the good seeds I had sown in the past. For instance, the time when I was a penniless student and found a wallet full of fifty pounds notes in the toilet of Harvey Nichols Departmental store. As much as I was tempted to keep the wallet, I did the right thing.

A recent example also comes to mind. Some weeks ago, I found a file lying on the pavement as I walked my kids to school. I picked it up, traced the owner and reunited her with her file.

Finally, I still have faith in the goodness of the human race.

So, after a few hours of getting home and still no sign of anyone contacting me through the personal details in my wallet, I decided to stay safe and cancel my cards. First, I called my bank and cancelled my personal and business debit cards. Next up was our joint credit card. As I was waiting in the telephone queue to speak to an agent, my doorbell rang and I knew that that was my wallet being returned to me.

When I opened the door, a gentleman stood there with my yellow leather wallet in his hand. He handed it to me and I thanked him. I asked him in for coffee but he politely declined – but he said to me, “I am just doing the right thing.”

Why am I telling you this story and what have I learned?

  1. When I was growing up, I heard this saying a lot “Man proposes, but God disposes”. It simply means human beings can make as many plans as they want, but it is the universe that decides their success or failure. My plans for today did not go as I wanted them to and that is fine. When these kinds of things happen to me now, I do not beat myself up because some things are not under my control.
  2. Today has also reiterated the saying “You Reap What You Sow”. If you sow good deeds, you will reap good deeds and vice versa.

Have you had a similar experience, I’d love you to hear from you.

Yvonne x

"what is this here to teach me?"

What is this here to teach me?

"what is this here to teach me?"

“What is this here to teach me?”

This girl gave me a fright yesterday. She fell down the stairs in our house as we were getting ready to leave for school in the morning. She did not hit her head or anything like that but she did complain of a pain in her back. Not wanting to be late for school, I checked she was okay and went to grab my shoes. However, my mama instinct kicked in and  asked me to check her again. As I went back to check her, she passed out in my arms for a few seconds.

Surprisingly, I was calm. And if you know me, you’ll know that I am not a calm person. I guess I had to stay calm because her older sister was freaking out.  To be honest with you, I was more worried about her older sister who thought her younger sister was dying right in front of her.  To cut a long story short, she is fine. The doctors said the shock of the fall was what made her faint.

When things like this happen to me, I have learned to ask myself, “what is this here to teach me?” My lesson? Not to take my daughters for granted. Life is freaking fragile.

 

That feeling of Jealousy

Jealousy Blog (2 of 3)-2Whenever I get jealous, I ask myself why I am feeling the way I am feeling. First, I ask what it is about that person that is making me feel so insecure, angry or envious. By asking myself this simple question, I am able to deal with the horrible emotion of jealousy.

Merriam-Webster defines ‘jealousy’ simply as “an unhappy or angry feeling of wanting to have what someone else has”. I’m sure you already know this, but Jealousy is destructive.  From our personal lives, we know how jealousy has made us behave crazily – marriages have broken down, a friendship destroyed… etc., etc.

 

 

During my years of immaturity – and this is going back to Secondary school – I remember being jealous of a particular girl, let’s call her Heather. Heather was popular, clever, beautiful and pleasant. Every time someone declared how great Heather was, I’d slag her off. When my boyfriend dumped me for… wait for it… Heather, I found myself spreading rumours about her. I wanted my peers to dislike her. Heather had everything I wanted. However, my nasty actions towards Heather didn’t stop people from being friends with her. In actual fact, it was me people could not stand. This was my great lesson. I learnt that jealousy is not attractive; it puts people off and it can be smelt from afar.

 

And BTW, may I say, Heather killed me with kindness – even though she stole my boyfriend. Anytime, I ran into her, I couldn’t look her in the eyes; my conscience could not cope with what I was saying about her. To cut a long story short, Heather and I became best friends.

 

Jealousy Blog (1 of 3)-2

I tell you this story because, over the years, I’ve learnt that the feeling of jealousy can also be turned into a positive thing. Jealousy can help you figure out what you want or desire. So, if you find yourself jealous of that mum who looks amazing all the time, or you find yourself being jealous of the mum with a great job – it may just mean you desire to look amazing or you want a great career. The question is: what are you going to do about your feeling of jealousy?

 

Like I said at the beginning of this post, whenever I feel jealousy rising in me, I ask myself why I am feeling jealous. And most of the time, I discover that I want a piece of what the person has. My solution is: I walk up to the person and ask them how they do the thing that makes me jealous.

 

 

Once I have taken this step, the feeling of jealousy fades away. Sometimes, I may even realise that what the person is doing or what they have, is not really for me – I don’t want it. However, if it is something I still want, I ask them to help me.

 

Jealousy is a feeling humans will always have. From time to time, we’ll feel it but it is what we do with it that matters. When we know how to handle our jealousy, we can help our children with how to deal with theirs.

 

Now over to you, how do you deal with your jealousy?

 

Yvonne xxx